This tree was my first little baby. The picture is a bit deceiving. It was pretty tiny. And I had maybe ten ornaments and filled the rest with little plastic ones from Target. Each year got slightly larger. And fiance got more and more involved.
Last year I went a little overboard. I sort of forgot that I was by myself. I'm not sure this picture does it justice, but let's just say the next day I couldn't raise my arms above my head because I was so sore.
That brings us to this year. I am going to be traveling a lot in December and it didn't really seem practical to get a tree. I knew it would die quickly and I'm busy. So as much as it seemed sacrilegious to forego the ritual, I convinced myself it was the best course of action.
Then I returned to my apartment after Thanksgiving. Let me tell you a little inside secret about long-distance. You'd think it would be easier to return after spending a lot of time with your significant other. In fact, it's quite the opposite. The longer you are with them and the more time you spend, the harder returning to your "normal" life becomes. I get used to having fiance around. I get used to what a room feels like when he is in it. I get used to having a buddy to go places with.
All of sudden, my cozy apartment feels cold. The room feels empty and I am perpetually waiting for something or someone to come home. And nothing makes it better. Except waiting for the transition period to go away.
Well that really bad day was Tuesday. Monday I was too busy, so the gloominess settled in Tuesday morning. Despite my first inclination to wallow on the couch all day, an empty fridge provided enough motivation to get out of sweatpants long enough to get some food. I went to the store and got my key go-to grumpy foods: pickles, chocolate, cheese, and apple cider. And then this happened.
I'm not exactly sure how. I blame fiance. I was on the phone with him when the little trees caught my eye and he encouraged my impulse purchase. It was definitely against my better judgment. At least this year I managed to restrain myself to a reasonable size. Don't get me wrong, next year I want seven feet. But I needed my arms today, so while I'm still by myself, it was necessary to go small. The ornaments dwarf the tree and it sort of leans to one size. But I love it and it makes me smile. So I guess fiance was right.